On Resolutions

I recently saw a quote that said: If you are angry, you’re living in the past If you are worried, you’re living in the future But if you are content, you are living in the present. This is when life makes sense. This resonates with me, because I am always worried and always angry and…

The Night Sky

I was the earth and Caleb was my star and his destruction was not made know to me for eons.

A Day in the Life

A day in mine and Caleb’s life can be drastically different from day to day. Some days, we don’t feel like doing anything and we stay home; other days we feel like doing all the things. During the week, our days start around 530 after I get off work. On the weekends, I have every…

When a Heart Breaks

As I was getting ready to teach a Sunday school class this morning, the song When a Heart Breaks by Ben Rector played on my Pandora. I felt my eyes start to tear up, but I didn’t understand. I wasn’t listening to every word because I was preoccupied painting my eyelashes jet black. But a…

Wheeling and Dealing… and Grieving

For everyone else–on the outside looking in–it’s been nine months. For us, it’s every day. And it’s hard, not to feel forgotten. It’s hard not to be angry. It’s hard not to be jealous of the other couples who are “normal” when we are “other”. It’s hard not to ask others why they no longer…

Frustrations

One question is always at the back of my mind: where is our miracle? Where is that miraculous recovery I see so many other people achieve? How do they do it? Where do these people get the money? One of the main experimental treatments is stem cell therapy. The Stem Cell Institute in Panama City,…

Thankful Heart

One thing that has always stuck with me is that this picture is the last I have of our previous life. I think about how on that day, we had no idea that everything was about to change. In the month that Caleb was in rehab at the hospital, he had to learn how to…

Life is Beautiful

I like to remind myself every morning that each day is a gift. Each day that I don’t get a life-changing and devastating phone call is miraculous. Every day I get to spend time with Caleb and our fur baby is a blessing. Sometimes it can be hard to remember this when I’m feeling the…